After a long pregnancy...she is with us. Warmly welcomed into our family on Tuesday, April 10, 2012.
After much belaboring and delaying and 10 months of praying. I asked the doctor to break my water. I was 41 weeks pregnant. I thought, her being the 5th, she would have decided to come on by now and meet these big sisters. But she's more patient than that. More patient than I.
I knew we would soon be leaving the safe window of time for having a baby. And God gave me a peace that it was her time.
I chose Tuesday, April 10th, hoping my Mom would be able to come before her surgery the next day.
(More details and pictures to come...after I get some sleep.) :)
- The doctor broke my water at 8:00am, on the nose. I explained that I didn't want pitocin or an epidural. I just want me, the baby and God to do it. Oh, and that I am really shooting for the baby to have arrived by Noon. The doctor nods, we talk about a few things and he leaves. Brian and I laugh and joke that my chart for SURE has an asterisk beside my name that means 'this chick is nuts' and 'watchout for this one she's trouble.'
- First distinctly hard contraction hits at 9:15am. Contractions 8-10 min apart. I think to self, 'now this is the kind of contraction I need to get this baby out.'
- Call my friend Lindsay at 9:23am. She reads scripture to me for 15-20 minutes, I silently cry and nod as she reads to me from my favorite book, The Word of God...contractions all the while getting closer. Feel peace and calm descend into the room 'by the washing with water through the word.' Ephesians 5:26. One of the verses I cling to during the day is 'For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.' 2 Timothy 1:7
- 10:10am I say to Brian, 'getting a baby out takes a LOT of work.' Feeling overwhelmed knowing I still have potential hours to go. Contractions 4-5 min apart.
- 11:15am I ask Brian to go get the nurse to check me. I feel the baby moving along. 6cm -100% effaced. Brian is my Knight in shining armor. He holds my one hand with his big strong hand, and the other hand presses into my back. The air is so cold in the room that his hands are cold. They feel so refreshing every time I grab them for a contraction. He fans my sweaty face in-between contractions. I am breathing. It's all I can do. I count down in my head from 20 to 1 with each breath. The contractions are about a minute or so long. It's the worst minute of my life, then it's over. Then I get a minute or two break before I do it again. I lay still, on my side. I fall asleep for a minute and 1/2 or two before the next contraction comes.
- 11:25am I can feel her moving through my body. I am closer and closer to getting to meet her. I know the worst is yet to come. Which is amazing considering how ridiculously hard everything already is. It can't get harder. Can it? I ask Brian to have the nurse check me again. 8cm. I say to her 'Homestretch?' My eyes are closed, but it sounds like she smiles when she says, 'Yes, homestretch.'
- A few minutes later. I ask her to check me again. I'm 9 cm. The contractions are so horribly intense I think they could seriously make me go blind, or do some sort of irreparable damage to me psychologically. I know that I will want to forget it, but don't think I ever will.
- I ask Brian to help me lay onto my back. He does so quickly and with no trouble. I say to the nurse, 'Call the Doctor.' She says, 'I already did.'
- I am on my back, with the most insane urge to push. I tell the nurse, 'I need the stirups. It's time to push. Did you call the doctor? Is he here?' She's telling me yes, but the contractions are so close together. And I am pushing.
- It's excruciating. Like being run over by a Mack truck...but worse. I have no words for this part...I never will.
- My body says PUSH. So I do. This part is foggy. Need Brian to fill in the gaps. I push. She is right there. I feel her. I push more. She is coming. I push more. She is being delivered. I push the last time and she is out. It's 11:56am. The doctor laughs that we made it with 4 minutes to spare. I say, 'someone high-five somebody.' Not sure if anyone does it. I am in la-la land.
- They lay her on my chest. The doctor asks Brian if he wants to cut the cord. I can hear Brian say yes with joy and excitement. My eyes are still closed, I hear relief in Brian's voice. I don't have to see her or know that she is perfect. I can hear it in Brian's voice.
- God did it all. HE delivered me from the pain and suffering and feelings I can't describe. 'For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.' Psalm 86:13
- I start shouting, 'Thank you JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! Thank you Jesus!' Brian says that I said it over and over. 65+ times. Brian hears one of the nurses in the room say, 'Um hm...I know that's right.'
- I continue to celebrate and offer praise to God for delivering ME. I hear Brian laughing at how big, plump and juicy she is. I told him before she arrived that she would, for sure, be 8 lbs +. I could tell.