Tuesday, February 28, 2012


'If you have it (love), you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have.' James Barrie

It is always in the front of Brian's mind.

And mine too.

We talk about it a lot.

We try to find ways to be creative.

We desire for them to know without a shadow of a doubt....

The importance and delight of being a girl.

But even more than that....we want our girls to know that they are loved by their Daddy.

Not in a 'I'm his daughter, of course he likes me' kind of way.

But a feeling of,

'I'm HIS girl.'

I know what it feels like to be loved well by a Daddy.

I was my Daddy's 'girl'. I have felt the security of being truly adored. I have felt the warm, close, overwhelmingly wonderful feelings of love from my Dad. I knew then, and especially know now, all the positivity that transformed me and blossomed me into the woman I am.

I don't have gobs of memories of being a little girl. I don't even have gobs of pictures from being a girl. They are tightly tucked away at my Mom's house.

But I do remember many of the things that my Dad would say to me, 'I love you.'  'You are beautiful.' 'I trust you.' 'You can do anything you put your mind to.'

Of course, I BELIEVED him. Every last word. I auditioned for things and interviewed for the craziest things just knowing that I would get the gig or job because my Dad believed in me. That's a true story. And 98% of the time, he was right.

So for this house that is bursting full of girls with another on the way, we are contentious.

Brian has this very high calling. He has, soon to be, four little girls who are hungry for love. And a wife who digs him.

He gives of himself. He dates us. Each and every one of us.

Earlier this month, he took the older two girls to the Sweetheart Ball.

I had run off for a girls night with a friend, to see a friend in NC.

I came home, around 4:00pm Saturday afternoon, to a quiet house. The baby was sleeping. I heard the hairdryer going in the distance. A squeaky clean, naked Evelyn was walking down the stairs holding two pair of panties, one for her and one for her sister. Her poker-straight hair perfectly blown dry.

I smile at her and go to find Brian. I find him in our bathroom. Hairdryer in hand, blowing out Carlisle's hair for the Daddy/Daughter Ball.

She is sitting in the sink, cozy...wrapped in a fluffy white towel. He is standing behind her, blow dryer in hand, trying to do it the way he's seen me do it. He looks relieved to see me. I take the hairdryer.  He's done an amazing job. They look so cute, cheeks pink from the warm bath and hairdrying. And, flushed with excitement of what is to come. Not sure we even talk over the noise of the hairdryer. I just pick up where he left off. He leaves the room.

Moments later, he comes back in the room with the littlest sis.

Hair-drying is over. The three girls and I all sit down on the bathroom floor. Someone pulls out the finger nail polish basket. They each want a different color. Carlisle selects first. A beautiful natural cream color. Meanwhile, Viv and Ev are testing other colors, spilling polish, using the fingernail file on everything in sight.

Vivian goes second. She takes so many cues from her older sisters. She sits still as a statue as I paint her nails. She selects pink for one hand, purple for the other. Her hands are so cute. The colors look darling  on her miniature hands. While I start on Evelyn's fingernails, Carlisle paints Vivian's toes. It's splattering everywhere. Dripping. Spilling.

I'm so glad that I am married to someone so chill and carefree. I take his cues. Most everything is clean-up-able. Including this.

Evelyn wants some sort of purple/pink every other finger type of mix. She's fun, it's funky. She loves it. I sprinkle glitter into the wet nails and then she's off the wall elated.

Carlisle disappears.

She returns from her bedroom with 2 matching dresses. One for Evelyn and one for her. The baby doesn't like the looks of that.
And protests. 
She says, 'Dress? ... Dress please?'
So Brian gets her matching dress too.

They all put on their gorgeous dresses. Vivian starts spinning and 'oooh-ing and ahhhh-ing'. She's such a total girly girl. We don't mention that she isn't actually going to the dance...that it is just the big girls this time. 

Brian says they danced the night away. I see from their faces after they return that they feel loved. That they feel cherished. That they feel special. 

Evelyn prayed a few nights ago. 'Please let the baby come out just right, with out any bruises on her knees.'

'and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.' Eph 5:27

And last night, 'And God? I pray that Mommy won't swallow and burp up the baby.'

Whew, she's getting my bases covered for me. 

Same daughter, my encourager, sitting at the dinner table says to me... 'Mommy, I love this napkin, because it looks just like you.'

All three girls woke up at 8:25am. Highly unusual. And great. They obviously needed the rest. 

We need to leave the house at 8:40 to get the little ones to preschool on time.
I knew we'd be late. It was inevitable. 

I packed backpacks quickly. Threw lots of ponytails into hair and off we went. 

We pull up to the school. It's very cold out. I look behind me. 
The baby has on one shoe. 'Viv, please tell me that you have thrown the other shoe somewhere in the car.' 
She looks around. I reach my hand in the backseat.
No shoe. 

I look at the front seat. Is it beside me? Wait a minute....where is her backpack?
I see it in my mind. Sitting on the counter at home. All packed and ready to go. 

No backpack. One shoe on, one off. Um...looking really bad here. 

I find a pink gift bag stuffed under the front seat. I am thinking it's paying off to have a messy car today, as I find a spare diaper and her sippy cup, needless to say, no label. I slip all of it into the pink gift bag, write her name on the outside. Off she goes, without shoes. And no coat. I think it was 38 degrees that day. Good thing they weren't going outside to play. 

There are few things more beautiful to me than watching their relationship...biggest sister and littlest sister. That little one will soon be a big sister too. Amazing. But, what an awesome big sister she's got, to show her the ropes. 

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