Peace from the Father

So excited that God has opened the doors for another His Proposal conference!

Here is the SCOOP:
October 19- 20, 2012
Friday night starting at 7 pm.
We will all meet under a big tent in a GORGEOUS setting to find out what the Bible says about sex, dating, marriage, motherhood, forgiveness, and how to know if a guy is the "One the Lord has Chosen" for your running mate in ministry.

We will study John 3:16 (The Greatest Love Story Ever Told), How to serve God while single, Isaac and Rebekah, Can you truly be forgiven?, Panel of godly guys answering your questions, 'Who's your Daddy?' (Names of God), awesome live worship, yummy food and MORE.

Space is limited this year so IF YOU WANT TO COME, you will have to reserve your spot. You will need to send $30 to:
Stephanie Blackiston
3309 Cummings Hwy Suite F
Chattanooga, Tn 37419

When I receive your money (to cover the cost for food, notebooks, and location), I will reserve your spot and send you a packet with information and directions. Just make sure and include your return address. The conference will be in Rising Fawn, Georgia. It is about 25 minutes from downtown Chattanooga.
Speakers: Stephanie Blackiston, Mellette Chatham, Jennie Edwards
"My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and COME AWAY" Song of Songs 2:10

AND


Conference Call Biblestudy on the book of JOHN, starting Sunday, September 9th. 
More details to come. 

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My girls hear people everyday exclaim, 'Wow, you've got your hands full.' Carlisle hears it so often that sometimes she says it to me. 'Mom, you've got your hands full.' Usually we hear it at the book store, or the post office...or places where everyone is unusually quiet...except us. But people don't end there. They continue to marvel at the fact that they are all girls. Then, they tell me how awful it's going to be for us when they are all teenagers, or getting married. 
Yuck. I don't like that. 

My hands are FULL! I am thankful for that.  

This is motherhood. It is a CALLING. It's not the cool thing to do. Or a hobby you can pick up or put down. It's constant. And it is no joking matter. It's a laying-down of life. If you are a Mother of one or twelve, you know. 

I just was talking with a new young mother this weekend. She's in the trenches, two little ones, 2 and under. I told her now, for me, it is easier to have 4 children than to have 2. Because when I had two, I was still a little bit selfish. I fought for 'me' time. It was when I learned to truly die to self that I truly learned to LIVE. 

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:8

Another friend, asked for my parenting tips. I texted her back:
Rule #1: Seek HIM first
Rule #2: Die to self

I've heard it said, 'Live the gospel when no one sees.' But, there are some that see. Our children. Sacrifice for your children in ways only they know. Treat them carefully. Stop living for yourself and live for HIM, which spills over to them. Give of yourself with JOY. It isn't easy. But it's right. 
When it's hard, which is always, cling to the CROSS.

 Sometimes it's smooth sailing...like this...

Other times it looks more like this...

Cleaning out the book shelves the other day. Big sis found a 'baby yoga' book. I found her trying it out with compliant baby sis.

Homeschool is back in session. Year #2.

We started August 6th. Another year has begun. One 1st grader. One Kindergartner. I am already enjoying it so much. Even more than last year. The fact that I have two students instead of one. That I seek HIM in the morning, and then everything else falls in behind that. It's tough work. One of my BFFs and I talk about the tilling that is involved in Homeschooling. 

I? The farmer.
Sweat on her brow, dirt under her nails, sunburnt from all day working and working. Head bent, tilling the soil. Back killing her from all of the days of repetitive work. 
'Jesus said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.' Matthew 9:37

They? The tiny little seeds. 
The seeds all look the same. They all start out the same. Small. No sign of life. Yet, with proper water and sun, they will flourish and grow.  

(S)he is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever (s)he does prospers. Psalm 1:3

I water my little seeds. Everyday. I am sure to give the little seeds sunshine. And good soil. (God's word + scripture memory) 

But...it...takes...time....
And for now, I wait for the sprouts. 

Our school days start with this verse on my heart:
'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.' Matthew 6:33

The best children's bible. With audio. 

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It was a wild hair. 

The kind you get every once in a while. This wild hair came one night while I was getting ready for date night. 
I thought... I want a new look for the night. I'll just trim up my bangs. 

Good idea. Fun enough. 

Here's where I went wrong...

I thought, I bet the girls would love bangs too. 

Nope. They wouldn't. 

Abort. 

Don't go in there with scissors. 

But I did. 

Shoot. 

Bad move. 

They look terrible. The girls are constantly brushing the hair out of their eyes. 

No clip keeps them back. 

I went tooo short to tuck behind the ears, and too long to be above the eyebrows. 

Oh well. At least we know it won't be a problem for much longer. Our hair grows like a weed. 
I am the girl who donated 12 inches to locks of love....and so did my 3 year old. :) 

Carlisle, With long bangs...

My sweet friend, who is also our hairstylist said, when I told her about the insane bangs situation: 
'Every Mama does it.... once.'

Shorty-short bangs. 

Today I have peace. Not peace because all is just going great. Or peace because things are easy. Absolutely not. Actually one girl has thrown up and Brian has too, one feverish, and I've had a 24 hour stomach bug. I felt so terrible that just the sound of the baby nursing made me want to get sick. So I plugged up my ears with my fingers and closed my eyes.

My peace does not come from the world. But from the Lord. The Lord's peace is a peace which is constant in the midst of my endless days of school, teaching, correcting, encouraging, dancing, frequent interruptions, very few short breaks, meals and work. 

My peace is from the Father. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Nothing affects me without my heavenly Father's permission. Whatever He allows to happen becomes, For ME, His will for me. If God allows it to affect me, He wills it for me, out of His great love for me, to draw me to Himself. 

He is the key to peace in this life. God is the only way to feel calm. Trust Him in everything.

THE element of surprise

She is not here yet. And only God knows when she'll arrive. 

I like to think it through, make my own predictions. But honestly. I am an optimist. So my predictions may always be a little short, rather than long. And so....after all that...she, like the others, will arrive when she is good and ready. 

I showed Carlisle a computer generated video of a baby being born the other day. Really great. Nothing too much. Just enough. Age appropriate. She said, 'Cool Mom. But does it hurt?' She has asked me that dozens of times. I have to tell her the truth. But, her being a girl. And 6. I have to say it in a way that she won't be scared off from having children at the ripe old age of 6. So I say. 'It hurts, but it's ok.' And that's where we leave it. 

God knows this baby. He formed her from scratch in my womb. He loves her a billion times more than me. But I love her insanely much. She's all done. Just in the plumping-up stage. Amazing all that has happened in the last 9 months. In my tummy, a whole little person has been made. Meanwhile, I've done 3000, give or take a 1000, loads of laundry, memorized and taught the girls gobs of scripture, begun official year number one of Homeschooling with a bright little kindergartener, taught a zillion aerobics classes, traveled, learned to live without my Dad, led or co-led 3 seperate biblestudies, been thrilled to enjoy two little girls learning to ride bikes without training wheels, watched first teeth lost, gone to Peru, kept it all together at home as Brian has traveled to two foreign countries for weeks at a time, all the while making a baby from scratch in my tummy. 

 (9 months at the Gala)

Also in the last few months, we've celebrated: 
a 1 yr old turning 2
a 3 yr old turning 4 
a 5 yr old turning 6. 

We are officially, as of last month, in our 'Even year'. They are 2, 4, 6. Next year 1, 3, 5, 7. So symmetrical, it makes me feel like having another baby in 2 years....

Saw the doctor last week, he says I could go anytime....my next appointment Friday morning. 

I am slightly bonkers with the thoughts of smelling her, holding her...and the burrito baby blanket wrap that newborns love.  

In a race, I never win. That's not even on my radar. I just love the sport of it all. I loved being able to complete a half marathon. Just finish. The triathlons, same thing. My gosh. There are people who do it and feel differently. I want to win in certain areas of my life. An athletic event is just not one of them. 

When it comes to a baby, I win. I know the outcome will be AWESOME and that unique and wonderful Baby would be worth it all.

She moves all the time. I love it. It wakes me up alot. I still love it. 

Homestretch. My girls hear me say it so much that they are now saying when people ask. 'Yes, she is in the homestretch.' 

I think the last few week are kind of like the final mile of a race. I think of the races and triathlons I've done and the final mile is the one. The one that is the hardest. But you get a burst of energy. 

It's seemed like the shortest pregnancy. Without question. The toughest in some ways. Being sick with bronchitis rocked me. But it's been gorgeous to watch as the girls have gotten more and more wide-eyed at my always-growing-bigger tummy.

I did aerobics. The whole time. Much of it without too much problem. Jumping jacks and push ups even into the 9th month.  I cut out a few Zumba songs from my list because I'd have 5 or 6 contractions in a short 4 minute song. Too many. Working out is sweaty. Your heart rate up. Everyone is working hard. Already busting my booty doing it pregnant. And being the instructor. Add contractions to all that. And huh-uh. 

Shocker, to me at least. It's WALKING that gives me the greatest, hardest contractions. It's when I am running late and I am basically jogging into the gym for my class.

The Kindergartner, in jammies, doing school with her littlest sister proudly coloring on the other half of her paper.

I have a theory. There are two types of children. Those that stick things in their noses, and those who don't. I fished a wadded up wipey out of Vivian's nose yesterday. Two small nurses helped me. One on each side. And after that, we picnicked in the back yard, fed the ducks and then fell backwards into the grass and pointed out cloud shapes for an hour. I think, quite possibly, that will be something we do in heaven too. 

Years ago, we put Carlisle and Evelyn in the same room. They were overjoyed and stayed up late talking and giggling for weeks.  

This past weekend, we started preparing for Eleanor's arrival. 
We just moved Vivian into the big girl room. We have two twin beds pushed together. It's like having a king size bed. So all three girls could be together. To say that Viv is excited is a SUPREME understatement. She is filled with inexpressible and glorious joy. And she keeps them up way longer than they are used to. 

Contractions were insane today. Not the nonchalant Braxton and Hicks kind. But the, can't really do anything but notice you are having one, type of contraction. She'll be here soon... 

It's QUALITY not QUANTITY

'The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" Matthew 8:27



Last week was a great Homeschooling week. Not because of all the big, beautiful hours pouring into each girl over textbooks and math lessons. It was QUALITY, not quantity. 






Maybe only the Homeschooling Moms will understand that one. Each girl was some variation of sick...some more than others. And I was sick for many of the days. So we simply could not do it.







The Angel Gabriel

Mary, mother of Jesus (somehow caught doing what appears to be the John Travolta)

I read the story from the bible, of the Angel Gabriel appearing to Elizabeth, then to Mary. They acted it out.  I was also reading to them from the book 'Stories from the Stable' by Bob Hartman.

They are so smart, remembering their 'lines' and worshipfully acting out the story. Complete with all the emotions of the main 'characters'.

The role of Angel Gabriel, played by Carlisle, wearing fairy wings. And the role of both Elizabeth and Mary, played by Evelyn, wearing pants tied around her head.

The school we did do was rich and God increased my creativity between feeling awful, drinking my meals of Gatorade and laying on the sofa, or floor, or bed...anywhere. 


Meanwhile, while we were doing turbo school, Vivian decided to wear a hula skirt and color the dry erase board, herself, her clothes and some of the furniture in the school room.

They did such a good job in school this crazy week that I decided, the reward for good behavior and awesome work would be manicures and pedicures for all. 


Back in the day, I used to spoil myself with manicures. Now, it is beyond a treat. It doesn't at all fit in my life right now.


I overhear Evelyn talking it out with her sisters. 


'Manicures are for your fingers. 


Pet - icures are when you get to pick out a PET. You know, a cat or a dog.'


The care package that showed up at my door. Gatorades, soup, fruit, yummy throat drops. Megan, this love box was what saved me last week. Thank you my sweet friend. I love you.

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A cute british girl asked me recently, 'How many weeks gone are you?' I smiled. 
Weeks gone. 
I guess that's just the right way to say it. 
I'm 24 weeks. 


24 weeks gone.


(By the time I actually post this, 25 weeks. But who is counting?)




The 24th week makes me cry. It is always the HARDEST week for me. Harder than any of the other weeks, beyond compare.


Babycenter says the baby has gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts her at just over a pound. 


But my little 24 week baby that I met, in 2005, Grace Katherine Edwards was 1 lb 8 ounces. 

I can't help but think of Grace as I pass through this week. Week 24. I can't have a baby without passing through this week on this emotional and spiritual voyage to make each baby girl. It's become some sort of right of passage for me. Of course, I carry each baby girl for 9 months. And right in the middle of it all, I am pregnant and I know EXACTLY what the baby on the inside looks like if SHE were on the outside. I've met a 24 week baby. Only 7 short years, and 4 baby girls, ago. 


As she laid in my hand, her feet dangled down an inch or two past my wrist.Her nose was tiny. Her entire hands, the size of my pinky fingernail. 
She was perfect and yet flawed. And they laid her in my lap. They had wrapped her up so neatly. The nurses. We kept her that way, at first. Holding her and crying...that 24 week baby girl. Not living. Not breathing. Just laying there. But then, just as any parents want to, we wanted to really see her. And we were first time parents. Her hands, ears, fingers, legs, tummy. We wanted to see all parts. It was the first baby we'd ever had. So we were just as any new parents would be....dumb-founded that this had just emerged from my body. And so we had true delight and joy as we unwrapped the blanket from our little girl....from her little body and ooh'ed and aahh'ed over our little baby girl. Our first little baby girl.


Although. She'd take no breath. Move not a muscle. Blink no eyelashes. But those parts were all there. 


And so, for week 24, I see the baby I carry in my tummy, in my mind on the outside. And I cry. And I talk to God. I beg. And I pray that He will please let this baby girl stay put. On the inside of my tummy. And for the fourth time, God has so sweetly answered that prayer. And so I imagine this tummy baby, the way I know she looks, nestled snuggly. And I pray that she will live to be 39 or 40 weeks, be born and join our family. 

(At the Nutcracker with the only non-sick girl available)

"...much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be alright as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else's and not your own..." (Dorothy Patterson)

There are so many wonderful facets of Vivian's personality. Scratch that. Angel Baby's personality. We sometimes call her Vivian. Her name makes me so happy, even still. I could squeal about it. Girly, feminine. Old fashioned. One of my favorite things about her is that she is an easy going, go with the flow type of girl. Wonder why that appeals to me so much? Maybe it's that we have so many activities, friends to meet, picnics, dates to the gym, meeting up with Daddy, scooting here and there. . . and she gleefully goes along with us and all of our wild and crazy adventures.

God is teaching me in these days that HE is the one to whom I give glory. HE is to whom I do things for. There is a verse that says do everything as if working for the Lord.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

If you are like me, you've heard it all before. Heard that verse many times. You may even have it memorized. But God's truths. His biblical truths are becoming fresh again. Maybe it's like a haircut. Same old hair, just new look of it.

'As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.' Mark 9:15


Run and greet him RIGHT now. Open your bible. 


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One of the girls Elective Homeschool Classes this week - Holiday Sweets Cooking.

They loved it. 
We made Peppermint truffle brownies... they were amazing. Almost too rich, even for me...pregnant girl with a obvious mouth-ful of sweet TEETH.

Blondie mixed her ingredients...on the floor. 

Waiting during the baking process....Carlisle got ahold of the camera and Evelyn really is the best subject.

 Worth the wait. 

Yummy, rich, delicious, messy. Maybe just maybe, my girls dream desert.

Peppermint Truffle Brownies

12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided
1/2 cup plus 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/3 cup crushed peppermint candies

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9×9-inch baking pan with foil, leaving overhang “handles”. Spray foil with nonstick cooking spray.

Combine 6 ounces (half the bag if you’re using a typical 12-ounce size) of chocolate chips and butter in medium metal bowl. Set bowl over saucepan of simmering water and stir until chocolate and butter are melted and smooth. Alternately, melt chocolate and butter in a glass bowl in the microwave at 50% power, stirring every minute until melted and smooth. Cool chocolate mixture until lukewarm, 5 to 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, whisk sugar, eggs, vanilla, and salt in large bowl to blend. Whisk in chocolate mixture. Stir in flour. Transfer batter to prepared baking pan. Bake brownies until tester inserted into center comes out with moist crumbs attached, about 30 minutes. Transfer pan to cooling rack and let brownies cool completely.

Bring cream to simmer in small saucepan over medium heat. Remove from heat. Add remaining 6 ounces chocolate to hot cream and let stand 5 minutes to soften, then whisk until melted and smooth. Pour chocolate ganache over cooled brownies (still in pan) and spread to cover completely. Let stand at cool room temperature until topping is set, about 4 hours. Sprinkle with crushed candies.

Using foil as aid, lift brownie sheet from pan. Fold down foil edges. Using large sharp knife, cut brownie sheet into 25 squares, wiping knife with hot moist cloth after each cut. (Don’t skip this or the brownies will be a mess to cut.) Arrange brownies on platter and serve.

I found the crushed mints get soggy if you put them on right away. I’d wait ’til the last minute to sprinkle them over the top of the ganache and lightly press them in. Also, this only makes a 9×9 pan, but you can get 36 bars out of it. Cut ‘em small…these puppies are rich.

The picture that keeps my girls laughing

My girls (all of them) cannot stop laughing at this picture of ME. They imitate me. Booty sticking out. 

Down to the littlest one.

Our family is sick. 

Carlisle has had it the worst. 

We have watched at least A movie...if not more, every day, for the last 4 days. Between the three girls and I, we have eaten no more than 2 bites of food each....saves time on dinner prep and clean up.

Brian has been a best friend to me and 'King Daddy' to the girls. The doctor made it clear he didn't want me getting what Carlisle had, could be dangerous for tummy baby. So I left the puke clean up and crying girl to him. 

He has done dishes, made meals, ordered movies, ordered pizza, and maybe even done a load of laundry. Of course, I ended up getting sick, but not Brian. He skates under the radar and is healthy as a horse. Leaving me and the girls only long enough to go to the gym and come back. 

Now, I am trying to believe all that we have gotten done... inbetween the vomiting...

... and the staring at the vomiter.

And keeping Vivian away from Carlisle. The baby won't let Carlisle rest alone. She finds her. Lays down and snuggles her. And sucks her tiny thumb. 

We purged and organized the guest bedroom, the playroom, the closets, I made a new home video for the family and now I am blogging.

I feel it coming on like a tidal wave. 

I am nesting.

And I love it.

I WISH I would have taken a BEFORE shot of this guest bedroom. The transformation is staggering. The before was obscene. All the Christmas decoration boxes were scattered / strewn/ haphazardly thrown everywhere + Little girls summer clothes, shoes that needed to be put away + Whatever it is Angel baby wanted to take out and play with and scatter about.

My new pink IKEA tubbies for shoes. The perks of having a 4th girl. Recycling clothes and shoes again and again and again.

Christmas 

We decorated a month ago. Mid-November. I hope to do it that early every year. It has been so nice to have been able to enjoy it for such a long time.

Especially with all that we have going on around here.

Baby showers, biblestudies, Christmas parties, dinner parties, etc.

It's been so long since I've been on my blog, I forgot the password to get in. I forget everything. But thankfully I can't forget just how forgetful I am. 

Because Carlisle helps reminds me of that. 

My priorities are shifted around right now. I'm a wife, homeschooling little ones, leading bible studies chock full of cool people whose lives I want to invest in, aerobics 4 times a week...and then there is the normal stuff...laundry, dishes and meals....whew. But I miss blogging. 

People ask how Homeschool is going. It is the BEST thing I am doing in my life...other than making a baby in my tummy, which I will say ties for number 1 with Homeschooling. 

There is a wide array of locations that we homeschool. It varies, kind of with the weather. This day, we flung open the doors and did school in the kitchen. They are good little students. Willing to learn and smart. I pray with them, and for them, first thing. And usually in my prayers I say, 'And Lord, help me to be a great teacher, because I don't know what I am doing.' 

So the other day, Carlisle is praying before we start school and she prays, 'And Lord, please help Mommy be a good teacher, because she needs your help. She doesn't know what she is doing.'  

I laugh. And love it. Because she is so right. I don't know WHAT I am doing. But I know that THIS is what GOD asked me to do. What He is requiring me to do. 

And just as I teach obedience to my girls, so that one day they will be obedient to God. I have to do the same. Be obedient to God. 

So God has taken over our 'Academy' and (ALL GLORY TO GOD), the girls are flourishing.  

And I goof. And sometimes I get it right. And they learn. And I learn along with them. 

When I ordered the Math curriculum over the summer I ordered the Kindergarten material. It was all wrong. As I dove in to the curriculum in August, I kept thinking, this is so easy. I will just skip a few lessons. The harder stuff must be coming. 

It was not challenging enough for her. It NEVER got challenging enough. So a month and a half in, I pulled the plug. I admitted to Brian that I ordered the wrong grade level. It was an almost $100 mistake, but I ordered the Level 1 material and we are cruising. She is challenged and is learning. It's fascinating. She learns addition. I squeal. She looks so proud. I wouldn't miss that face for anything.

Evelyn is writing. She loves her letters. Loves to write them. On everything. Big Sister is her biggest cheerleader and high-fives her over the simple writing of a letter. 

And I. 

I had time to squeak in making a new blurb book. www.blurb.com 

It is a chronicle of life with Brian and these little ones. I guess it would remind you a lot of this blog. 

Only better. It's on paper. It's a big hard-back bound book. 160 pages. 749 pictures. But it's intense. It takes hours. Brian took the girls one weekend, and I worked sun up to sun down all weekend and completed it. I had already done half of it, I was trying to turbo finish it.

TIME well spent. We adore it. The girls climb up in our lap, and we slowly flip through it. The pictures remind us of the stories and we reminisce about the 'old days' back when they were 'little'. 2 whole years ago. 

I now have a book for 2007, 2008, and 2009. (So now I am only 2 years behind.) :) 

(Mom sent this over email. And I love it.)

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner, and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, two under the age of 3. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'  

Pictures by my new friend Ainsley Glotzbach. I love her.

 www.ainsleygphotography.com/

 

Carlisle and I were just laughing at Evelyn. I told her, 'Ev, you are totally HILARIOUS!'
She made a very sad face and said, 'I'm telling Daddy that you and Carlisle called me a name.'
I heard her walk in and say to Brian, 'Daddyyyyyyyy... Mommy and Carlisle called me hilarious.'