'It's a Girl' Photoshoot

They are so excited to have another sister!!

'...but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express...'

It's 2:54. AM. 

Yes, I should be using this opportunity to sleep since it's quiet. Everyone is sleeping. But I like using this opportunity to think. To have a quiet moment. To myself. 


These days are long. And the nights are long too. Many get-ups and lay-downs happen through-out the night. Feeding, changing, holding a baby. But I don't mind. This little Sweetheart is so wonderful.

From the lips of babes: Little 2 year-old Angel Baby aka 'Ang' (rhymes with 'range') came up to me while I was holding little Bliss, and said, with love on her face and a childlike genuineness, 'I like babies.' 

I do too. 

Our family has been in a secret place of suffering. Comforted only by the Lord and his Word. In her first days and weeks, we have fought for her life. Literally. I don't even want to think about how low her weight got in those first weeks. She got soo tiny. Losing everything I ever fed her, onto the floor. I knew it was bad when Brian looked at me and said, 'Why do we even feed her?' NOTHING stayed down. I also don't want to think about what she subsisted on. How much actually stayed down? One ounce every few feedings? Maybe. But honestly how could I know? But I knew that it was desperate. And that something was wrong. So after seeing her pediatrician and him sending us for the upper GI tests and x-rays. He discovered that she was born with a hiatal hernia. We were sent to MUSC to a pediatric gastroenterologist. 

We have made that 2 hour drive to Charleston before. It was 7 years ago. I was pregnant with another little girl. Grace. So that was HARD. Thinking of what could be. Remembering what was. But thankfully, this was a VERY different situation. 

The cute, young doctor was totally chill. She was laid back about it all, telling us with authority and confidence that medicine should help. She prescribed Zantac and Prevacid. She was VERY concerned with the baby's weight. Which was 7 lbs. 10 oz that day. A full pound LESS than birth weight, after 3 weeks. She threw up all over the floor while we were there. But, PRAISE GOD, we left hopeful. Glad that there was something we could do. Medicine around the clock sounded great. 

The word of God says to be 'Like newborn babies. Crave pure spiritual milk', that is his Word! This passage has become even more alive to me now that I am hanging out with a newborn 29 hours a day. She craves milk. She is alive because of milk. It is her sustenance. This is how we should be with God's word. She eats every 3 hours. She would eat more often than that if she weren't such an incredible sleeper. 

But with the spitting up, most of what goes in comes back out. So she is not gaining weight. It's a dangerous, scary issue. It's milk that causes her to live. To stay alive. 

Without milk, she cannot live. She cannot flourish. It's the same with us. Your bible is there. It's meant to be consumed. It sits on your bedside table or your bookshelf. Or your car. But just like she needs to consume milk and not spit it up, you and I have to read it. And meditate on it. Constantly. Like a newborn eats constantly. It's all they do. 

The specialist that we saw put her on Milk Fortifier. It a powder that I add to expressed breastmilk. It fortifies the milk. It basically adds extra calories to the milk. What does it mean? To fortify? To fortify means to strengthen or INVIGORATE. Increase the value of! To protect it against attack. Ha ha. I love this. 

When we memorize the word of God we fortify ourselves. We strengthen, invigorate, increase the value of the word of God in our lives because it is IN US. I tell my girls when we are memorizing scripture that once you memorize these verses, it is in you forever. No one can take this from you. It's forever yours. And it protects us against attack. Not IF the attacks will come, but WHEN the attacks come, you will be prepared, because the word of God dwells IN YOU.

It's been just a few days since that trip to Charleston and now she is one month old. TODAY. She is our first to love a pacifier. She loves being swaddled. Tightly. She still sleeps more than any other baby that we've had...maybe gives sleepy baby Carlisle a run for her money. If ever she is fussy, she just wants to be wrapped up tightly and laid down in the bassinet. She's a delight. And very cute. And PRAISE GOD is back to her exact birth weight on her ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY. 8 lbs 11 ounces. The medicine is working. She still spits up. We are still fighting to keep the medicine down, 

A good college friend named her newest little daughter, Evelyn. I am happy and contented to know there is another in the world. Although, she won't be anything like mine. She can't. This one is ONE OF A KIND.

Baby Bliss Fan club President ~ Evelyn Edwards

I spoke last Saturday for the women of the church. I knew immediately what God wanted me to speak on. The power of memorizing God's word. Here's just a snapshot of some of what I talked about below...

When Jesus saved me, it was a RADICAL moment. The old was GONE and the new had COME! I didn't look the same. I hated the old Jennie. I wanted to be nothing like her anymore. I memorized my first scripture that year. 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.' Philippians 4:6

I call that time pre-Jesus Jennie and post-Jesus Jennie. My interests all immediately changed. Except ONE. My big, beautiful boyfriend had recently given his life to the Lord too. I was more in love with him than ever. He began immediately to lead me in a Christlike way. He sought after the Lord with PASSION. He consumed his bible. Literally read for hours a day. It wasn't 4 months later and we were engaged, a super short engagement, and were married on a steamy hot day in June beginning our lifelong honeymoon. 

We enjoyed 5 years of just he and I. No babies. Traveling the world. 

Then we entered our darkest days. I became pregnant with our first little girl. Naturally, we were beyond thrilled. At week 16, we discovered that she had a genetic abnormality. We knew she would eventually die. I continued to carry her for months. At 6 months, she died and I delivered her. Together Brian and I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. It was horrific. I thought of my citizenship in heaven. I wanted to go there too. With my little baby Grace…go to heaven and hang out with Jesus and sing Holy holy holy. I was done with this world.

God's and his forever enduring word carried us. One of our verses at the time was, 'But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in  weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' 2 Corinthians 12:9

God set me afire. I became more and more in love with the Word. Intoxicated. Memorizing and dwelling. Falling in love with God, letter by letter, Word by word, line by line.

'In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.' And it happened. I became intentional. I began meeting with the Lord to memorize his Word. I got the cute name of 'Scripture Nazi' in biblestudies that Brian and I were leading…and lived up to it. Trying to encourage any and everyone to memorize with me. Because 'All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.' 2 Timothy 3:16

I began to teach it to my girls. As soon as they learn to talk. They are saying 'dada' and 'mama' and I teach them to say JESUS. I whisper it. Because it gets their attention. And they listen. And they smile. I make it the biggest and best thing I ever say to them and then I teach them John 3:16. First.

But the most fascinating thing I've learned as a scripture loving Mama is that they listen and memorize always. Carlisle was three years old when she recited the Armor of God for a friend. Word for word. It's 5 verses long. She had heard me practicing in the car. The friend said, Jennie, I can't believe Carlisle has the armor of God memorized. It's so long. I said, 'she does?'. I practice out loud and I have to say it 3000 times. I joke that I have birthed a little of my brain out with each baby. So 5 births later, I am in trouble. :) 

Evelyn did it too. Picking up verses as Carlisle and I memorized together.

Most recently, my just-turned 2-year-old recited the fruit of the spirit. She says, 'The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness. patience, goodness, patience, goodness. I was 41 weeks pregnant when I discovered she knew that one. Patience, goodness, patience, goodness. I would smile and say out loud 'Got it Lord. Got it.'

The girls all got a sunflower from the women's event at the church. And once we got home, one-by-one had a dance with Daddy... and the sunflower. Even me. :) 

If you have love, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have. 

 ~ James M. Barrie

Also making time to hula. 

Taped to the mirror in the bathroom, above Brian's sink. It's been there for years.

As my girls get older, I continue to find new ways to celebrate them. Celebrating girl-ville. Or girl-ness. Not even sure what to call it. Girl-hood, maybe. 

I laid on the bed with them last night at bedtime. Jammies were on. Teeth were brushed. 

I asked them questions. About what they thought about things.

Evelyn had just gotten an American Girl kitty (from Sam's. Can't believe they had them.) and it comes with a book. Full of get-to-know you questions, probably to do with a friend... 

Well, we laid on the bed like college girls. Me getting to know them. Carlisle was sure of herself and her answers. Fishing and tree house building are her favorite out door activities. Evelyn was much more pensive, thinking carefully of her answer before she said anything. Being chased by her Daddy was her favorite outdoor activity. Reading is Carlisle's favorite subject. Handwriting was Evelyn's. 

It went on for over an hour.  Can't wait for next time to do it again. And take notes. 


I learned so much.

They are so interesting.

Asleep beside me ~ week 1

We aren't yet sure what we are calling her officially. Some call her Ellie Bliss, some Eleanor, some Bliss.  

I like them ALL.

She, enchanting and lovely one, is asleep on the pillow beside me.

I found myself literally crying in praise this morning, as I thank God for this blessing. I am desperately and HOPELESSLY in complete shattering love with her. I hurt I love her so much.


She fills a void in our family we didn't even know we had. 


SHE IS so very wonderful. She IS the answer to all my prayers. We waited. We prayed. I cried in hope that she would be just right, 'without spot or blemish'. And she is that. And so much more than that. I am soft and humbled by her. And my heart is overwhelmed with love from God.


She sleeps like a baby. But in our family that's a good thing. On night number 3 of being home from the hospital, she woke up ZERO times in the night. ZERO. She went to sleep around 9:00pm and woke up at 6:00am. 


I told Brian, 'That was a real fluke, but I love that she gave me a full night of rest. A gift from God to prepare me for the long weeks ahead.'


The next night, unbelievably, the SAME thing. I know it's another fluke, gift from God situation, she slept from 10:00pm until 7:30am.


Falling asleep on my stomach has just been a treat. I have missed it. But much to my horror, I always wake up on my back. what???!? I think it's from all the pregnant months sleeping on my back. 


I have so many pictures that I don't know when I will ever get them posted. But I HAD to start with these. 

My friend and photographer, Kim Lanier, came an hour and a half after Ellie Bliss was born. I texted Kim in the very early morning of April 10th, the morning I was in labor. Telling her I wanted labor to be over by noon and could she come an hour or two after that. She said she could come, but needed a babysitter to watch her little ones. Done. My friend met her in the parking lot and watched her boys so that Kim could run upstairs and photograph my little girls.

These little girls had waited for the birth of this baby for so long. This was a WAY bigger deal than Christmas. A WAY bigger deal than a trip to Disney. Waiting 41 weeks for something is like waiting 3 years in kid-time.

They couldn't have been more excited. IMPOSSIBLE. And equally, I couldn't be more thrilled to see them that excited. I was so interested in seeing their little faces. Their body language. Watching. And having it photographed to look back on. Captured reactions. The looks. The excitement. The nerves. The anticipation. If this picture doesn't say it all...

Crying baby...our reactions. (you may have to scroll to the side to see everyone.)

4 wonderful little girls and one big husband that I love with ALL the fullness of my heart. 

It's always interesting to get the feedback from my blog. And especially after the 'natural' labor and delivery stories hit the computer. Whew. I've heard from so many that I have to say a few more things about that experience. 

The first few moments after birth, natural or however the baby comes to be born, is surreal. I think my nurse saw that in me moments after the baby was born. I stood up, started walking around. With no where to go. Just ambling around the room. Almost confused. Not taking pictures, not really taking anything in. I'm sure, had I ever read a childbirth book, there would be something about this in the book. About post-birth. And what an awe-filled time it is. 

One thing I have done in the past week is process some of that day. Her BIRTH day. When I blogged the night she was born. I was on a high. A natural hormone induced high. That oxytocin release is like Love Potion #9 for me. It gave me energy and kept me up that night, and THAT was when I blogged. 

If I made the birth sound glamorous. It's not. Absolutely not. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. It makes running a half marathon look like an Easter egg hunt. Or a trip to the dairy queen. I go into natural childbirth with fear and trembling knowing the amount of pain it takes and what I have to endure. But that God will deliver me. And that, for my own reasons, is my choice for birthing my babies. If I were to ever have another child, that would be my route again. 


My friend who has 5 children, and I were talking this morning. Laughing actually, about the non-glamorous side of Mothering. The spit up, late nights, early mornings, diapers, on and on. Can't even think of a list. Too many unglamorous things to add. It's tough work with no pay. Period. 


To put the non glamorous side of childbirth in perspective. 


I consider Brian to be super duper duper strong. He is football stud, cross fit hero, the Jiu Jitsu champion of the world (almost). :) He's just plain tough. 


When I was having contractions one time he offered me his hand. Maybe out of sympathy. Maybe wanting to be involved. Maybe because he just wanted me to not feel alone. I grasped hold of his right hand with my right hand and held on to it. Contractions usually run for about a minute. So for that minute I was holding on to him as he was holding on to me. 


After that, it happened over and over. 


2 days after her birth, we got to talking about that time. He informed me that I wasn't just holding his hand during the contractions. Unbeknownst to me, I was PULLING. And that I wasn't just pulling, I was about to rip his arm off. He says that after I would let go, I would lay my arm down on the side of the bed and my arm would shake from pulling so hard. Pulling. Shake. And I didn't even realize I was doing anything other than holding his hand. He was blown away by the way I was pulling. Not because I'm so strong. I am really not strong. Cardiovascularly, I feel strong. Muscles, I do not have. He said I almost pulled him off the floor. The pain of labor was so intense and the natural hormones that are released to help you through, I guess, give you supernatural strength.


Brian's elbow has been popping, with some pain, since then.


If I had to think of a 2nd place for difficulty level for me after childbirth, it would be... sawing my leg off with a steak knife, only after pummeling it with a sledge hammer.

Many of these pics are snapped really quick with one of our iPhones or a friends phone and texted to us.

Pregnancy clothes are almost all packed away. They will sit in the top of my closet...don't know if they will ever get used again. I have no interest in even thinking of it right now. Labor is the hardest thing. When I talk about it, I cry. It was TOUGH. Brian can't even talk about some of it. He just shakes his head. I did talk about it yesterday and starting profusely sweating.


She's here, laying in my arms as I type. I cannot get enough of her. But maybe it's because I have to split her so many ways. So many big sisters and friends want a snuggle. I'm usually last. Or maybe it's first. Since technically I am with her at the start of every morning. But I am not complaining. She's wonderful. 


There's a Mama I know who says with the addition of each new baby, it's like one of those old fashioned scales. For a little bit, one side goes WAY down, but before you know it all evens out and both sides of the scales are side by side again.


Evelyn hasn't been herself. Just off a little. Maybe it's that she is smack in the middle. Not the oldest. Not the youngest. What does this new baby mean? Wonder if she thinks, where will I fit in now?   Her song-in-her-step has been gone some recently. So Brian and I took her out for 'Ev Day'. A special day of filling up her love tank. Just her and Mommy and Daddy (and the tiny sidekick). It was the baby's first outing, on day 5. Actually my first outing too, I don't think I'd left the house in 5 days either.


We took her to Mellow Mushroom. She wanted pizza. Even ordered a Sprite. We laughed and laughed. And filled and filled her love bucket. We asked what she wanted to do after lunch. 'SWIMMING!' So that was next. She has a song in her step again. Brian wants to have a 'date' with each girl every week. 

'Cheers to Ev day!'

Brian's new iPhone screen saver.

Even slipped out of the house for a date night, just the two of us, on day 5. Words can't say how much I adore this guy. 

Trillions more pictures and stories to come...just have to find the time...